Growing up is hard.
I don’t believe that things happen for a reason. I believe that things happen and pain changes people. It’s up to you whether it pushes you to do better and be better or let it harden your heart until bitterness overtakes you. I used to think that my pain defined me-that everything I’ve been through was who I am. I was wrong. Your “damage” doesn’t make you who you are. How you deal with it and learn from it reveals your true self.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the years
you can’t change people
The only person you can change is yourself. There have been people in my life that I wished I could change, that I tried to change. But after trying and trying, I realized that it was only hurting me instead of helping the other person. Instead of trying to change someone, you have to accept who they are and decide if you’re going to stay or go.
The past is the past
I’ve spent so much time dwelling on the past, wondering how things would be if I did something different. Thinking about things I’ve done wrong and obsessing over them. The truth is, you can’t change the past but the past can change you. You get to decide what you do with it.
youth should not be wasted
There are so many times when we take our childhood for granted. I always wanted to grow up. Now that I’m here, I wish I would have not only cherished the whimsy but created more of it. Being an adult isn’t as easy as you think so it’s absolutely necessary to be intentional about finding time to play!
you are not defined by what you’ve been through
It’s so easy to think that your baggage is who you are and that no one will love you because of it. You have to fight the voice in your head that tells you that you’re not good enough. There’s this analogy that someone once told me. When you’re holding a $20 bill, the value of the bill doesn’t change no matter what. It doesn’t change if you crumble it up. It doesn’t change if you fold it in half. It doesn’t change if you spill water on it. It is still worth $20. The same thing goes with the value of a person. Your value doesn’t change depending on the circumstances. It doesn’t change when horrible things happen. Your worth stays the same no matter what.
beauty really does come from within
I never thought I was beautiful. People would say otherwise but I couldn’t believe them. It wasn’t until I became confident in who I am as a person that I could truly accept that I was beautiful.
you become what you see
My mom always told me that you become like the five people you’re around the most. When you surround yourself with toxic people, it’s so easy to become negative. You have to surround yourself with people who push you to be the best version of yourself. People who bring you joy.
doubt will kill your dreams
The only person who can make your dreams come true is yourself.
ego is usually overdressed insecurity
How many times has someone said something that hurt your feelings and immediately your best friend says, “It’s just because they’re jealous?” People don’t know how to deal with the success of others. It’s just a fact. Don’t take things personally. The only opinion that matters is your own.
broken hearts never heal the same
You’re going to go through a lot of heartbreak throughout your life whether it’s a love interest, a parent, a friend. Hearts break. There’s no getting around it. But it’s how you get stronger and grow. It’s how you learn.
things really do get better
I truly believed that things would never get better-that they would be hard forever. Throughout high school, I faced the type of trials that you shouldn’t have to go through as a kid. I thought I would never be happy. But boy was I wrong. As cheesy as it sounds there’s a bright side to everything. Now, I’m learning how to stay positive in hard times.
Now, I don’t know everything about growing up. I just got here. What I do know is, I have amazing teachers and people in my life that surround me with support and drop pearls of wisdom. I think often times we wish for the “bad stuff” to go away but I’ve done the most growing through the hardest times. It’s all a part of growing up.