What No One Tells You About Depression
I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was thirteen years old. At the time, I had no idea what that meant. All I knew is that I didn’t want to get out of my bed to go to school and I couldn’t eat most days. Even after going to therapy for the majority of my life, I still don’t know everything about dealing with depression. That said, there are a lot of things that I do know and wanted to share with you.
Not everyone will understand.
I used to think that my friends didn’t care but the truth is, they just didn’t understand. How can they? People who have never had to deal with depression themselves, have a very difficult time understanding how you feel. You have to surround yourself with people that actually want to understand and educate themselves on what it means to be depressed. That’s how they play their part. How you play your part, telling them as best you can what you are feeling so that they know how to properly be there for you. Never have I ever been able to pull myself out of my depression alone. There are many times when you will feel a sort of “guilt” asking for help. You don’t want to put your issues on other people or be a bother. But the truth is, if someone truly cares about you it will never be a burden for you to talk to them about what is really going on.
There is nothing wrong with you
I think often times, I have felt like there is something seriously wrong with me-that I was broken because of my depression. Not true. Depression is a chemical imbalance. It is something that you cannot control and there was nothing you could have done to change the way you were born.
3. It can feel completely consuming.
Depression is selfish and sneaky. It can come up behind you and completely wrap itself around your body without a second thought. When this happens, you have to remember that isolation is the enemy. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I’ve isolated myself from my family and friends because I thought that my depression would be too much for them to handle. I would cut out people from my life for a while and then suddenly try reappear in society. Not healthy. Now, I know that isolation is the worst thing for depression. One of the best things to do when you’re feeling depressed is to go outside. I know it sounds crazy but Vitamin D has seriously been a contributor to pulling me out of my depression.
4. Anti-depressants take time.
When I was first diagnosed, I never wanted to be on medication. I think mostly because I didn’t want to admit that I had depression but alas this time last year, I realized that I needed a little extra help when it came to balancing. It has taken me an entire year to find a medication and a correct dosage that suits me. There were some medications that made me feel worse and some that made me feel nothing at all. The good thing is, we live in a day and age where medicine is so advanced and there are medications that help balance out the chemicals in our brains. It takes time but trust me when I say that it’s worth it. You will find the one that works for you.
5. there are times when you just want to stop.
One thing I’ve always said and will continue to say is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Depression likes to sink in and make you think that you are unworthy of love. You have to keep going. You are worthy of love.
A FUTURE BEyond depression can feel impossible.
There are many times when dealing with depression that you will feel like there is nothing more than this-like there is no end. As cheesy as it sounds, the sun still comes up every morning to shine through the shades. I’ve been dealing with this for years now. I know my triggers and I know when I’m going through a deep depression phase. I’m still learning. But one thing is for sure, I know that I can’t dwell in what isn’t. I have to live in the place of what is.